The Servant’s Heart: Learning to Listen – Part 2

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19

If I’m honest, my husband would probably laugh if he knew I was writing a blog about listening. He will happily tell you that listening is not one of my natural strengths. I always seem to have an opinion, a suggestion, or another point to make. When someone shares a problem, I am often already searching for solutions before they have even finished speaking. In my desire to help, I can sometimes be guilty of listening just enough to respond rather than listening to truly understand.

Over the last few years, however, God has been gently teaching me something important. Listening is not simply a communication skill. It is an act of service.

Even more than that, I am beginning to realise that listening can be an act of worship.

When we listen well, we lay down our need to be the expert in the room. We surrender our desire to have the answer. We choose to value another person’s story above our own need to be heard. Listening requires humility, patience and presence. In many ways, it reflects the very heart of Jesus.

As I read through the Gospels, I am often struck by how Jesus interacted with people. He was never in a hurry. He made people feel seen. He asked questions. He created space for people to share their stories.

One of my favourite examples is the encounter between Jesus and blind Bartimaeus. As Bartimaeus cried out for mercy, Jesus stopped and asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” (Mark 10:51).

At first, the question seems unnecessary. Surely Jesus already knew the man was blind. Surely He knew what Bartimaeus wanted. Yet Jesus gave him the dignity of being heard.

Jesus was interested in more than solving a problem. He cared about the person standing in front of Him.

That challenges me.

How often do I assume I already know what someone needs? How often do I rush to offer advice before understanding what is really going on in their heart? How often do I listen long enough to prepare my response but not long enough to truly hear someone’s story?

The longer I walk with Jesus, the more I realise that people are not projects to be fixed. They are people to be loved.

I have learned this lesson again and again through my relationships.

There have been times when my husband has been sharing something important, and rather than simply listening, I have jumped in with my thoughts and solutions. My intentions were good, but what he often needed was not an answer. He needed my attention. He needed to know that I was fully present.

I have experienced the same thing while walking alongside people in discipleship. There have been moments when I thought I knew exactly what someone needed. I had a Bible verse ready. I had advice ready. I had encouragement prepared. Yet as I listened more carefully, I realised that what they needed most was space.

Space to process. Space to grieve. Space to ask difficult questions. Space to hear God for themselves.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is not our wisdom but our willingness to sit with them in the middle of their journey.

This is true regardless of age or stage of life.

Children want to know that their thoughts matter. Teenagers long to be understood rather than constantly corrected. Young adults need safe places to wrestle with questions. Parents often carry burdens they rarely speak about. Older generations hold stories, wisdom and testimonies that deserve to be heard and honoured.

The beautiful thing about the body of Christ is that it is multi-generational. Every generation has something to learn, and every generation has something to offer. Yet that can only happen when we take the time to listen to one another.

Listening communicates value. It says, “I see you.” It says, “Your story matters.” It says, “I’m willing to slow down and make space for you.”

When we listen well, we reflect the heart of Christ.

More recently, God has been showing me something deeper still. Listening is not only an act of service towards people; it is also an act of worship towards Him.

Listening reminds me that I am not the saviour. Jesus is.

I do not need to have all the answers. I do not need to fix every problem. I do not need to rescue people from every difficult situation.

My role is to love people well and trust God with the deeper work.

When I truly listen, I acknowledge that the Holy Spirit is already present and at work in someone’s life long before I arrive with my opinions. I make room for God’s voice, not just my own.

That takes the pressure off me and places my trust back where it belongs.

The servant heart listens because it is secure enough not to have all the answers. The servant heart listens because it values people. The servant heart listens because Jesus listened.

This week, I want to encourage you to practise the ministry of listening. Slow down. Ask an extra question. Resist the urge to offer advice immediately. Allow people the gift of being heard.

You might be surprised by what God teaches you. I know I have been.

Perhaps one of the simplest and most powerful ways we can love like Jesus is by making someone feel truly seen, truly valued, and truly heard.

Because a servant heart listens before it speaks.

Lucy Okenkali
Volunteer-Wasaidizi and Growth Teams
Gabon